Spiders.......Not friend but foe !!

The large Spider that has taken up residence in my garden shed is holding the lawnmower hostage....I am of the opinion that if 'IT' wants it so much it can keep it and I will purchase another mower and keep it in the kitchen !
I have sallied forth and made a few ( I must admit feeble and half hearted ) attempts to liberate the machine.....against the battalion of hairy legs I was no worthy opponent ! !

I tentatively ease open the shed door, the webs stretch until they snap!! then I cast about, my eyes darting frantically around...just as I am about to lay a trembling hand apon the mower out the spider comes, triumphant, almost swaggering.... I am sure that I can see it sneering at me..

I retreat with a wide yellow stripe down my back, shaking and shivering, heart thumping, beads of perspiration on my brow and nose, ringing in my ears..... cursing my multi limbed opponent.

This feeling is usually alleviated somewhat by a very large Scotch, but although fortified in body the spirit is too weak to have another try at liberation.

I almost handed the house over the other night to an excessively huge dark brown spider that I am sure, in my panic, had twice as many legs as the usual variety...my early warning system was activated...the creepy uncomfortable feeling I get when one of these creatures enters my comfort zone. I can almost feel when one is lurking, waiting to catch me unawares, lulled into a false sense of security, then it emerges, usually close by, spreading its multiple legs in all directions and rendering me useless at the first sighting.

I leapt and satisfied with the reaction it had provoked, the spider, which had been making it's way to the top of the radiator cover, dropped to the floor and disappeared !! I think I had gone 'blind' with panic as I missed the direction that it took.

So ensued a three hour vigil, from midnight and terminating at three in the morning as I could no longer sit in a state of cat-like readiness, waiting for it to emerge again.
I went with no easy mind to my bed, pushing down any horror stories that I have read that tell tales of spiders drinking from the corners of your eyes and mouth as you sleep. Trust me I would have made this one a cup of tea to itself !

The Cats ( two, Kissy and Toffee ) by the way are useless.....they just look at the spiders, mildly curious but not enough to take any active part in the scene.... one even sat while a huge brute walked casually over her tail one evening.

This spider has gone into hiding...and I am living in uneasy peace. I cannot relax nor let down my guard yet.

I have a large boot at hand as a weapon....if that fails there is the vacuum cleaner...don't go all bleeding hearts at me and berate me for an act of cruelty against them, I do not enter their webs and I do not want them entering my home...

If they leave me alone I will reciprocate !