I Wage War Against Myself....

I wage war against myself...
because of you...
because you exist and are in the world...

thoughts of you...
knowing that you would come if I called...
that you would change everything for me...
I am afraid of that change...
I would lose myself again in finding you...
I need this time for me...
to learn who I am and who I can become...
Regretfully, and though my heart cries out...

I wage war against myself...
because of you...
because you exist and are in the world...

and the strong person who lives in my head says...
don't surrender...
don't give in...
and the soft person who lives in my heart says...
call him...
love him...
be with him...

so I wage war against myself...
because You exist and are in the world...